Ashley
EeLin
Huishan
Jie Ying
Yee Leng (II)
Yu Wen
Friday, April 01, 2005
It's the most horrible thing in the world when u feel so dead inside and cant express it, when u feel u can hardly breathe & still cant show it! When u needs a tear running down your face n can't even have it!
i wan to know the truth but i know the truth hurts. it really hurts..
i'm crying.. i cried out immediately after i know the truth. not more than 2 seconds and i'm full of tears. it juz burst out like the hose and i dunno y. now tht i started crying, i cant stop.. i feel as if the sky has fallen over me. i knew everything right from the start. i did ask BEFORE but both of u denied. both of u dun dare to admit it. and that hurts.. both of u was afraid to let me know. i cant stop crying...!!! no one to accompany me while i cry tonight. can anyone understand how deeply i'm hurt.. i'm felt cheated. and by right I WAS cheated.. so right from the start i was the one acting so stupid like a fool, thinking he likes me and i fall for him so much. again and again i try to find excuse for myself to fall again! becos i'm juz so in love with him!! and he was the one who started EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! i'm the thick skin one alright.
i'm home alone.. onli rusty to accompany. he look at me crying and kept quiet sitting by my side. he came and licked my face. i dunno wad to do but juz keep on crying out and typing this entry now. i'm not afraid to avoid or hide my feelings anymore. there's nothing i can do but cry. my face are numbed from crying. bet i'll cry to sleep tonight.
Pretending not to be hurt is such a brave thing to do. but u know what? CRYING is even braver. because not everyone can face the fact that something are not meant to be.. i cant stop crying..... i cant stop.. i'm crying.. but it seems more like bleeding.. i'm feeling giddy. my head's feeling drownsy.. the walls are turning. my face are numbed.... and i'm not faking.
April Fool's Day turned out this way for me on year 2005. i'm the fool all the way.. its a totally different one. but thanks for everything. at least i felt and know wad real sweetness is by now.. thanks..
Sparkling Diamond
[10:59 PM]